#best case scenario re treatment and it’s still this shitty

[innko]

so somehow i got shingles AGAIN, this time with the tell tale rash and not zoster sine herpete. i had what i thought was a bad string of migraines for about 10 days then the rash popped up on my face/head. i got antivirals the next day which kept it from getting bad but i did get some blisters on my neck too. the face/head pain has been quite nasty, as well as the itching, the damn itching, it’s an itch that puts you in a bad mood and gets on your nerves (literally). i think my ear got hit a bit too, as it’s been itching like crazy and i get stabbing pains in it and i’ve had mild dizziness, mostly related to looking upwards or switching between looking at screens and irl objects (positional - signs of an inner ear issue). i’ve had milder neck pain that radiates into the shoulder a bit too. i finished my week of antivirals and i probably won’t get super bad like with the leg but i need to take it easy for the next several weeks…

BUT all this coincided with my aunt visiting and somehow i managed to drag myself to the harry potter studio tour in tokyo we already had non-refundable tickets for. that day ended with me leaning on her to get home since my leg just quit at the end (maybe i need a cane) and i discovered just how rough sensory things can be now due to all the stuff happening in my head/face area but it was still fun and i’m glad i didn’t waste the ticket.

but yeah, that’s why i haven’t posted in about a week

[tyranttortoise]

The imagine is: "What all the skelebros would do if reader got cancer?  How they reacted when they found out from the doctor, how the treatment was for them mentally (cause chemotherapy fucking sucks) and their brothers being there for them and giving them hope, and how they react when the reader got better right when they thought she was gonna die."

This was submitted by @sparkly-potato-wasteland, who is a total sweetheart and one of the nicest people ever, because her friend is going through this at the moment.  I know it doesn’t have as much fluff as it probably should, but I hope it’s all right. <3

UT!Sans:  

He's the one that insisted you go to the doctor in the first place, even if he made a few jokes and puns about you being as lethargic as him before he realized you were getting sicker.  Hearing the word cancer immediately terrifies him--he knows what it means.  Cancer may not be a thing for monsters, but he's studied enough about humans to know what kind of havoc it can cause on a human's body.  He's the one that keeps a level head despite his internal turmoil; he's always been good at pushing his emotions to the back-burner, to process them during the nights when he can't sleep and ends up alone with his thoughts.  He asks the doctor all the major questions--treatment options, surgery, chemo, success rates, the size of the tumor--and he jots down notes.  He's going to research everything he can about all of it, and then he's going to make sure you're going to the best hospital.

But he doesn't tell you any of this.  Instead, he keeps his usual grin in-place and shrugs.  "you can beat this, kiddo.  you're the strongest person i know."

He means every word.

He never tells you how worried he is, or how this diagnosis--and watching you suffer through chemo--has driven him back into drinking.  He starts thinking about RESETs, and on his darker days, when you're sleeping and he's spending the night at Grillby's, he calls up Frisk and starts slurring about having them RESET.  If anything happens to you... he'll just make them RESET everything, despite their promise not to.  

Nothing's ever been permanent before, so why should it start now?  

To your face, however, he's still his usual self, encouraging you and making jokes and puns.  He watches whatever you like while you rest your head in his lap, but he isn't sleeping.  He worries all the time, and of course Papyrus notices.  Thankfully, his brother is a pillar of positivity that takes care of both of you.  After all, Papyrus has grown to love you like a member of the family, so you often end up with both skeletons lying with you on the bed or couch. 

Papyrus keeps reassuring Sans--and he confronts him late one night about his drinking--and Sans finally lets a few of his worries slip out.  It makes him feel lighter, telling someone; especially when Papyrus assures him that everything will be all right.  He's so confident that Sans believes him.

It's a rocky road to recovery.  At one point, the doctors are laying out the worst-case scenario, and Sans can feel his usual smile slipping.  However, right before you're going into surgery, he grabs your hand and looks you directly in the eye.  "it's going to be ok."

He's so serious that he resists the easy pun.  And he was right; you pull through and he stays with you when everything hurts and you can barely stomach anything.  He gets you food infused with magic, and he's there whenever you need anything--as is Papyrus.  

And when you're sleeping in his lap, and he's watching your serene expression with a soft smile, he whispers into the night, "see?  told ya you’re the strongest person i know."

UT!Papyrus:

Papyrus doesn't understand what cancer is, so the word doesn't scare him like it should.

"OH, SO YOU'RE SICK? THE DOCTORS WILL GET YOU MEDICINE, RIGHT?"  His brows are furrowed, and he looks worried.  He thought your just had a cold.  Sans is the one that ends up explaining the diagnosis to him, since you don't have the heart to tell Paps--and you're struggling to accept it yourself.  

Papyrus is panicking on the inside, but he'll never let it show.  "DON'T WORRY!  I KNOW THE HUMAN DOCTORS KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING!  SANS ASSURED ME THAT YOU'LL BE GETTING THE BEST TREATMENT!  AND I'LL BE HERE IF YOU NEED ANYTHING AT ALL!"

He's as attentive as he says, doing everything possible for you.  Watching you go through the treatments is the toughest part, however.  When you're weak and throwing up, he feels helpless.  Sans helps him find things that you can keep down, forbidding Papryus from cooking for you himself.  Papyrus is continuously positive, always reassuring you.  "YOUR BODY IS STRONG, HUMAN!  IT'S FIGHTING THIS!  THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL NOT LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU, SO DON'T WORRY!!"  

He doesn't even let Sans know how worried he is, but he does ask Sans all sorts of questions about the treatment and how safe the surgery is.  Papyrus will always be your pillar of strength, and Sans wisely refuses to let him look up anything on the internet.  If he knew just what surgery entailed, he would likely start crying.  

Still, when you're being brought back for surgery, he never stops smiling and holding your hand, giving you encouraging words. "I'LL BE RIGHT HERE WHEN YOU WAKE UP!  AND WHEN YOU FEEL BETTER, WE'LL GO WHEREVER YOU WANT, AND I'LL COOK ALL YOUR FAVORITE FOODS!"  He paces for hours in the waiting area, and it's Sans that tells him everything will be fine.  He really needed to hear it.  

And, well--Sans is right.  Papyrus showers you with skeletal kisses, punctuating each clink of his teeth against your skin with a loud "MUAH!" for emphasis.  And when you feel better, he takes you to all your favorite places and absolutely dotes on you, providing cuddles, kisses, and positivity.  

UF!Sans:

Red doesn't handle the news well.  

He knows what cancer is; his background involved experimenting on studying humans before he left The Lab.  He knows how fragile humans can be-- how fragile everything can be.  It’s why he kept you at arms’ length for the longest time, keeping his flirting playful and casual.  But, he’s fallen for you--big-time--and he’ll be damned if he lets anything happen to you now.  

He threatens the doctors when you’re not around and researches the best treatment options.   He’s grouchy toward everyone except you--even his brother.  He ends up fighting with Edge when he’s in a particularly bad mood, and when Edge realizes what’s going on, he actually cuts Red some slack.  

You’re asleep when Red’s drinking in the living room, staring at the static on the TV in his own personal hell.  Edge grabs him by the front of his sweater and jerks him off the couch.  Automatically, Red’s eyesocket wisps to life with magic, his sharp teeth bared in a growl that Edge simply scowls at, unperturbed.  

“DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS IS HELPING?  STOP BEING SO PATHETIC AND PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!  THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU, SANS!”

That actually gets through to Red, and he changes his perspective.  He’s always been sweet to you throughout this, cuddling you and rubbing your back when you feel sick and your body aches.  He tries every food he can think of to help you keep it down, and he’ll use his magic to teleport/levitate you around with ease.  

When you’re gearing up for surgery, he’s a bundle of nervous energy, but he still manages a smile as he rubs his hand along your arm.  “sweetheart, everything’ll be fine.  you’re tough; it’s what i like about’cha.  we’ll watch tons of shitty mtt re-runs after this and laugh at the terrible actin’, just ya wait.”

He paces and wrings his hands in the waiting room.  Edge has to tell him to stop and be still, so he reluctantly complies, but fidgets the entire time.  Once it’s over, he sighs in relief as he watches you slowly come to.  He’s holding your hand, touching your face like you’re made of glass, and there are red-tinted tears glinting in his sockets.  

“hey, sweetheart.”  His voice is thick and even gruffer than usual.  “ya did great.  everything’s gonna be ok now, and ’m not leavin’ your side for a minute.”

UF!Papyrus:

“WHAT?!”

Edge doesn’t understand the term, and his bony brows furrow together.  Human biology isn’t something he’s all that familiar with, aside from what he already knows about your body.  Illnesses elude him, and the more the doctor explains, the angrier he begins to feel.  You’re strong--you’re kind--you’re everything he’s ever wanted.  You’ve never done anything to deserve this, and yet you have something attacking your body from within.  

He doesn’t know how to protect you.

He’s quiet when he gets home, his body tense.  “.... ARE YOU FEELING ALL RIGHT?”  Even though he’s stressed, he’s going to make sure you’re okay.  He’s going to read to you while you lie on the couch, cuddled up to his chest, and once you fall asleep, he’ll hold you for a moment before he sneaks off to spend the night researching everything he can.  He’ll even swallow his pride and call Alphys up, even though he thinks she’s a “CRAZY BITCH” and ask for her input.   Red ends up being the one to explain a few things to him, and when he notices how tense his brother is, Red moves to touch his shoulder.  Edge flinches, but doesn’t bat him away.

“...it’s gonna be ok, boss.  they’re tough.”

He’s intimidating during doctor’s visits; he doesn’t want anyone to touch you, but he lets them because he’s been told it’s for the best.  He glowers at everyone, but his expression softens whenever he looks at you.  He’s never encountered anything like this; he’s always been able to confront any issue head-on, to do whatever it takes to protect his family.  The fact that you might... that you could...

NO.  He resolutely does not even entertain the idea.  He’s going to will you better with his stubborn attitude.  

When you’re going into surgery, he stands beside you, tenderly touching your cheek.  “....I WON’T LET THEM MESS THIS UP, ALL RIGHT?  I’LL BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND IF IT COMES TO THAT.”  It’s an empty threat, but it makes you smile regardless.  He’s always been so dramatic with his threats.  “BUT YOU’RE STUBBORN, AND YOU’LL BE FINE.  I KNOW HOW STRONG YOU ARE, HOW RESILIENT!”

He works on his traps in a notebook while he’s in the waiting room in an attempt to distract himself and channel his nervous energy into something productive.   As soon as you’re out and moved to a room, he’s immediately at your side; the nurses have to work around him.  He wants to make sure you know he’s been there the entire time.  

“How’d it go?” you manage to voice, still groggy.  

Edge smirks.  “WELL, THE BUILDING’S STILL STANDING.”

He stays by your side, sleeping uncomfortably in a chair during your hospital stay.  When you’re released, he does the unthinkable and takes personal time off work to take care of you, doing everything in his power to make sure you’re not in pain and recovering your strength.  

From this point forward, he’ll be even more protective over you than usual.  

[pengiesama]

SWEET BABY!! THE SWEET BABY!!

so i’m fucking over the moon with happiness as regards the events in my most current berseria session, and the circumstances of this happiness actually DON’T involve sormik (so that’s how you really know something’s up)

REALLY BIG BERSERIA SPOILERS UP TO SNOWY VILLAGE #2, I’M SERIOUS

re: malak to human reincarnation: Eizen doesn't know how it works, but states it's most common with people with high resonance. it seems it can be affected by ceremonies and sacrifices, but CANNOT be affected by empyrean intervention.

shut the fuck up Fuckface McGetsStabbed; god i'm already so fucking tired of your pompous nihilistic bullshit i am zero percent surprised that you and your pompous nihilistic birdfucker of a brother-in-law were in cahoots even before stabgate happened

thankfully, Laphi knocks Velvet out of her BSOD by saying her journey and life has meaning bc she gave HIM a purpose and life, and the world is meaningless without her. 

Laphi: FINE VELVET EAT MY ARM BUT LEAVE ME THE OTHER SO I CAN PUNCH THAT FUCKER

SWEET BABY!! MY SWEET BABY!! HE'S THE MAGIC BOY!! GONNA FUCK UP INNOMINAT'S KNEECAPS WITH A HAMMER!! THE CLAW END!!

Velvet, literally: i am going to continue in my revenge quest because fuck you, fuck your face, i'm the lord of calamity and murder is how i do

as people unfortunate enough to be subjected to the shit-tier Zestiria anime were already spoiled for, Magilou is a Storyteller/Mayvin and has some nebulous tragic past as the fat old Abbey dude's (who's also a Mayvin) apprentice where he shattered her heart leaving her a shell because this is apparently now Kingdom Hearts

hi Hexen Isle. Zaveid has clearly been to this place and i don't remember if he mentions as such in Zestiria?

nice conversation on it means for a human to be reborn as a malak -- Eizen compares it to being rebuilt on a greater foundation. the whole skit is basically assuring Laphicet that he owes nothing to Artorius despite being related to him in a previous incarnation, and what matters is the life he lives now

so if i didn't mention it before, the Abbey's plan is to use Innominat's power to suppress human emotions in his domain to rob humanity of free will, thus eliminating malevolence (caused by human emotion) from the world. (malakhim, being what they are, seem to be more sensitive to this power and were affected by the free will suppression before Innominat became fully active.) Innominat feeds on malevolence, and needs it to stay awake -- when no more malevolence is around, he goes back to sleep and humans start being able to have free will again. to make sure Innominat can stay active indefinitely, the Abbey created Hexen Isle and the Calix to imprison malakhim there and turn the whole thing into a dragon farm -- dragons being immortal and able to generate malevolence just by existing. just in case you needed to be more horrified by the Abbey's treatment of malakhim/seraphim lol

bye Silva you were around for like five minutes *plays "My Heart Will Go On" on kazoo*

did you think Laphi was exaggerating about his desire to punch Innominat in the face? a true sweet baby never goes back on his promises and as such we get to witness Laphicet 2.0 literally fucking punch that pompous turd Laphicet 1.0 in the face

DID YOU THINK HE WAS DONE? Laphi then baits Fuckface McGetsStabbed into shooting his own miniboss, causing said miniboss to own him with a dying breath ray

DID YOU THINK HE WAS FUCKING DONE? Laphi then shakes off Innominat's pissy attempt to turn him into a dragon by manifesting the silver flame

yes, that silver flame

yes, i mean THAT that silver flame

yes, this is the actual best

*MICKEY MOUSE VOICE* YOU'RE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE THE WRATH OF A GOD

the party then escapes by ship, leaving Innominat to throw a fuming tantrum with his chump henchmen about being the shitty beta release of Sweet Baby Tech; then sends daemonized assassin Aifread off to kill Laphi specifically

that whole business was probably the most richly satisfying scene in the whole game

i like that we're getting some discussion on what it means for humans to be reborn as a malakhim/seraphim. Seres' soul/whatever basically tells Velvet that she doesn't consider herself Celica at all, despite having recovered most of Celica's memories after the second Scarlet Night (when Fuckface McGetsStabbed got stabbed). Seres and Eizen both state that this memory recovery is INCREDIBLY rare when being reborn, which makes the fact that Sorey clearly retained most of his memories (at least the ones revolving around Mikleo lolol) and sense of self in Zestiria's epilogue all the more impressive

as an aside i think Zestiria implied Hexen Isle was in another dimension, but Berseria clearly shows that it's just a remote island off the coastline of the mainland. or maybe Zestiria just said it was really far away from where they were? there was some skit with a coconut or something i can't remember i was too busy desperately trying to fondle Mikleo's waist through my screen to pay attention to anything

we finally face off with daemon-Aifread; who tries to take Laphi hostage, who headbutts his way out of the situation in time for Eizen to follow up with a punch to the gut that somehow kills him hard enough that Laphi's new purifying flame trick only serves to return him to human form in time to die as himself. before he kicks it, tho, Aifread gives us good intel on what the Abbey is planning, and how to stop it

bye, Aifread, you were decently hot and you and Eizen probably fucked at some point *continues to play "My Heart Will Go On" on kazoo*

so now Innominat's domain has gone live; while incomplete (they're performing a ceremony for completion), it's managed to suppress human will in a good deal of cities on the mainland. our objective now is to awaken the four elemental empyreans (aka the elemental lords from Zestiria), who got imprisoned deep in the earthpulse by Innominat and the Abbey. once we awaken them (by dumping a pure soul into an earthpulse on the next Scarlet Night; and the standards for "pure" souls is pretty low b/c we're going with the souls of the racist fundie incest siblings that Velvet ate), they'll be able to help knock down Innominat a few pegs so Laphicet 2.0 can kneecap him again and the suppressing domain can go poof

i'm so fucking happy that Better Laphicet is Maotelus like this is so metal

Better Laphicet fucking usurps Shitty Laphicet's worship base and turns Innominat into an obscure historical footnote this is the best case scenario

the real Maotelus was the sweet baby we stole along the way

anyway back to the game where i get to hear a bunch of NPC exorcists casually talking about experiments that tried to fuse together multiple malakhim into one being; scoffing about how the malakhim involved finally had their minds break and ruined the whole experiment. Eizen immediately stated his intent to go put the result out of its misery but i think it stands to note that the Abbey's treatment and casual torture of malakhim STILL horrifies me even 60 hours into the game

now i sense we're in the endgame; after the events in SnowyVille Number Two. the post-bath scene between Velvet and Laphi was really sweet but while Laphi's future is looking bright i don't foresee any ending scenario that shakes out well for Velvet. i also have to hand it to Magilou: i started out HATING her, but after a well-advised switch to JP voices and her development through the game i'd say she's settled at a comfortable fourth place in the Favorite Character ranking (fifth if i'm allowed to count NPCs) and gets a B+ as a character overall. i don't easily forget or forgive annoying characters but i'll also hand it to Eleanor that she's fucking FINALLY stopped chugging the Abbey's kool-aid. she'll never be a fave but i've at least stopped actively wanting to dropkick her whenever she talks. that much cannot be said for the repulsive shrieking pedobait, who i continue to despise. (like, we're having a conflict right now on "omg what will happen to the therions when we powerbomb Innominat out of existence? they might die!!" and i'm like "please tell me that's a promise")